Suggestions to Improve Your Relationship:
Be honest without being cruel. We become too familiar in relationships. We stop worrying about how our partner will feel when we zing out nasties. We attack to try and get back at things that hurt our feelings. It’s great to be honest. With honesty, consider delivering it without hidden zingers, agendas, and hurtful statements. Why not be honest, but kind to the one you love? Isn’t that how you want to be treated?
Stop playing games. Constant manipulation drives others away. You are not on the playground anymore. Those tactics are destructive.
Be yourself. Who else would you want to be? Chances are your partner fell in love with the “real” you. Love breaks down barriers. It’s ok to be who you are. You are loved because of who you are.
Stop negotiating everything. The win-win idea doesn’t always work in love. Love isn’t a constant negotiation. You are co-workers; you are lovers. Sometimes it’s grand to just acquiesce and feel good about making your partner happy.
Take time to be together. Spending time together builds and cements love. Grow together through many activities. Your time together is precious and needs to be prioritized.
Enjoy the companionship. Relationships are mainly about companionship. Enjoy being together, even when you are brushing your teeth at the same time. Constant companionship builds intimacy.
Get close. Remind yourself that you love your partner and chose them because you loved being close to them. Revitalize that closeness. Touch them casually and often. Kiss them. Smile and look lovingly at them. Give them the message that you crave their closeness. You will be surprised at the changes that happen. Don’t talk about this one—just let it happen.
Stop focusing on money. Money has nothing to do with love and if it does you are in the wrong relationship. Stop trying to lead with money issues. Live within your love and your bank account. More stuff doesn’t equal more love. Stop pushing so hard to have material goods, if you must push, push for warmth, sweetness, and belonging.
Don’t let other people in. A relationship is a bond between 2 people. The only thing more people will do is interfere and break you up. Don’t complain to others about your relationship—it’s a deal breaker. Why would you disrespect your partner? This is especially true of family members. They have no rights to you once you have chosen your new family. Be allegiant to your new family first.
Realize you may be 50% of the problem. Yeah, yeah it takes two… Take responsibility for your half and take off the blinders of blame.
Allow your partner to be themselves. Don’t lay that change “crap” out in your relationship. It doesn’t work. You are you; your partner is your partner. Let them be free to be who they really are. You are living in a dream world if you are trying to change them. If you didn’t like who they are, blemishes and all, why are you with them?
Be supportive. Relationships are intimate because partners care and support each other through everything. Be your partner’s rock and allow them to be your rock.
Stop being jealous. Stop making someone jealous for attention. Insecurity and low self-esteem are turn-offs. Pay attention to your relationship and it should pay attention to you. Jealousy is game playing and will result in a broken heart.
Forget about power. No one wields the power in a relationship. Relationships are about sharing. No power trips allowed. No one partner controls.
Stop pushing buttons. Think about why you are so unhappy that retaliation is your only solution. Cherish someone’s buttons and don’t use them for gain. You are only hurting the one you love. Is that what you really want?
Look for every opportunity to laugh together. Sharing joy and silliness cements us together.
Say you are sorry, quickly and like you mean it. Respect feelings. Everything we do doesn’t always turn out as we expect. Take responsibility, as you need, and then move on. No need to dwell.
Go out with your partner, not your “friends”. Reconsider if your social life involves your friends more than your partner. Continually leaving your partner out of your life destroys your bond.
Don’t expect to be thanked or appreciated all the time. Do things out of love and stop keeping track of your partner’s responses. Chances are when you stop expecting and badgering someone, the appreciation will flow. People do not like to feel manipulated or like they are being scored on every move.
Do things for love. Frivolous, wonderful surprises perk up relationships.
Kill the internal critic. Stop analyzing every move and every fart.
Write love letters. Be playful in your love.
Allow your partner to be fallible. People do weird and dumb things. People goof. You are fallible. Your partner is fallible. It’s ok.
Take a moment to think before you respond to your partner. Come from love with everything you do and say. You don’t have permission to be verbally abusive.
Appreciate love, companionship, and belonging. Understand how precious your relationship really is. Drift away from mind games of what’s negative to daily gratitude affirmations about your precious relationship and love. Understand and be grateful. Believe that you already have everything. You aren’t missing anything. Involve yourself. Feel your love. Show your love. And you will improve your relationship.
Live your dreams,